May 10, 2016
My kids have been really challenging lately – It’s either fighting with each other or talking back to me and my husband. Part of me feels like holding up an enormous white flag. A bigger part of me feels like holding up a flag that reads “This is just not going to happen anymore.” So I woke up on Sunday and set the intention of my day to be entirely focused around love. The purpose of my day was to show, give and exude as much love as I had and could give. I wanted every interaction I had to come from a place of love. Before dinner, I noticed a moment of everyone around me is fighting, arguing, and being disrespectful. I had to check in again and remind myself of my loving intention because when everyone around me is in fight, argue, and disrespect mode I must not be in the energy of love. After everyone was in bed, I looked in the mirror and felt so much frustration, anger and hate and then got so upset about feeling that way because my intention for the day was love. Am I incapable of giving love to the people who want and need it most? Guilt, shame, and ‘I am not enough’ thoughts spiral and swirl in my space. Instead of walking away from this with my head down and feet dragging, I realized there is something important here to speak of – Habit. If this way of coming, speaking, and living from love isn’t a habit then of course it’s not going to shift things in one days time. So, now I can see this situation as a gift. The gift is the realization that I have to get clear on what I want in my family. I have to get clear on how I want to consistently show up as a parent. It’s humbling, but how I show up will directly affect both of these issues that feel like an ongoing crisis. I want to show up with love – consistently. So here I go, consistently speaking from love, and then doing it again, and then living and acting from more love. Forgiving myself because I will be human and get frustrated and angry and break this habit, but persistently carving a new path of existence in which love leads the way. In Health and Healing,
